Raising a Child for the World
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by Chris and Ellyn Davis
If you have listened to (or read) much of what we have said over the years, you are aware that what the institutional (public and private) school system is trying to produce is “employable” individuals—someone who can go out and “get a job”.
The idea is, "Getting the best education you can means getting the best job you can." In raising our own children, we have not tried to produce employable young young men. Rather we have tried to raise our sons to become very good at what God has created them to grow up to do. (This concept is part of an article entitled Identity-Directed Home Schooling.)
When Chris gives seminars he usually briefly mentions a belief heholds that God is raising up the next generation for purposes that neither today’s Church nor today’s Culture understands. Normally, not much more is said because most parents are not ready to consider that this next generation might be called to go places we have always thought of as “ungodly”. What does this mean?
First, let’s talk about what kind of “jobs” we are preparing our children to step into.
As our children begin to consider what they might do as adults, they tend to move toward areas which they have enjoyed—or in which they have been successful—as they were growing up. But, let’s say that your child begins to show an interest in an area which you feel, perhaps, might not be a godly activity. Or, maybe, other Christians tell you not to allow your child to become involved in the area where he is showing an interest.
When we moved to the town where we now live, we became friends with a home schooling family whose two young girls were involved in the local community theater. When our children showed an interest in theater, other home schooling parents were surprised that the we would allow our children to spend time in such an “ungodly” atmosphere. We were told that the entertainment industry is filled with ungodly people living lifestyles which are dangerous to our children. What were we thinking!
But our children were interested in performing in plays and in joining the dance company the theater was establishing. So, after quite a bit of soul-searching and with a great deal of monitoring, we let them. It turned out to be a growth experience for us all.
My son the ballet dancer
Christians believe there exists a hierarchy of activities that range from the very godly to the very ungodly. And, they are right in this belief. What is really ungodly is pretty obvious and no parents would allow their children to enter into those experiences. However, between what we think of as "really bad" and "really good" lies realms about which we aren't sure what we think. So, we tell our children, "You can't do that." In my opinion this attitude comes from laziness and/or fear.
Christians also tend to have a hierarchy of preferences about what they would like for their children to do in life. For instance, would you rather tell someone that your child was going to be a medical missionary or that he wanted to be a professional ballet dancer?
I believe the church and our culture have made it very difficult to have a true understanding of either “godliness” or “success”. The reason I give seminars and write articles like this one is that I think God wants us to know that He has a definition of both “godliness” and “success,” and we must understand what His definitions are in order to raise the children He has loaned us so they can do what He has called them to do.
Recently I was spoke with a customer who shared that her father had spent his adult life working for CBS. Her father told her that the 1950’s was a time when Christians decided to leave the entertainment industry because it wasn’t a godly enough place to work. In doing so, however, they left a vacuum that was quickly filled by the kind of people running the entertainment industry today.
One day I was talking to my second son who had been involved in musical theater since the age of nine. I asked him what he thought about being around so many people whose lifestyles were grievous to the Lord. He looked up at me from where he sat on the couch and there was a look of surprise on his face. He said, “Dad, don’t you think Jesus would want me to take Him right into the gates of hell?”
The power of love
Years ago, during the run of the very first play my children were in, we held a cast party at our house for all the professionals in the play. Most of these were individuals in their early 20’s, single, talented and attractive. They travel from town to town, theater to theater. Sometimes they would stay in one place a month, at other times they would be lucky enough to be hired for a year or two. Wherever they were hired they would establish all new relationships and they would grow close to one another very quickly and many of their relationships would become quite passionate to offset their loneliness.
This is the subculture of professional actors who appear on the surface to "have it all", while on the inside they are lonely, disconnected gypsies.
We had a wonderful time at our house, swimming and playing outdoors, petting the horses and jumping on the trampoline. I bar-b-qued for the group. Just before we ate, I asked if they minded my blessing them when I blessed the food. I began to pray for them and asked the Lord to take away their loneliness and to give them successes they were searching for in their lives. As I continued to pray for them as the Lord gave me words, I realized that many of them were weeping. I will never forget the impact that love can have on people starved for the Father’s affection.
We ooh and aah when parents tell us their daughter is preparing to be a missionary and live among the ungodly in the spiritual darkness of a foreign land. What we tend to forget is that everyone who doesn’t know Christ lives in the spiritual darkness of a foreign land. When Jesus gave his life’s “mission statement” He quoted Isaiah 61 saying that He was anointed to bind up those wounded in heart and proclaim release to captives and liberation to the imprisoned. The Bible also says that the ungodly were fond of Jesus.
Why were they fond of Jesus? He loved them. Loved them enough to go where they were and demonstrate, in tangible ways, how His Father loved those He had created. Truly bad sinners are not people pretending. Many of them really are foul-mouthed, sexually perverted, substance abusers, who are burying their misery by temporarily appeasing their f lesh. What Jesus did was come to them with the key that could open their prison doors. He brought to “sinners” His own experience of the Father’s love and offered that love to them.
All of us in Christ have this same key to set prisoners free from their pain. Jesus was not threatened by people who turned their backs on religion because religion had not produced what it promised. Religion promises acceptance if a person behaves acceptably. Jesus promises the Father’s love if people will accept that He is the demonstration of that love. It is love, not fear, which changes people.
And, that is what I think the Father is doing with this generation: Preparing them to boldly go where Christians have not been willing to go before. Into the marketplace and the financial arena. Into entertainment (including professional sports). Into government. Into places Christians have often considered too ungodly to go. But first, they must become proficient in the areas where God is sending them.
My son is an amazing dancer who could have danced on Broadway as a teen. We have allowed him to pursue musical theater because that is his passion. And, because he is good at what he does, he is respected by other professionals. Because he is respected, he has earned the right to speak his mind. He is gentle and bold. No one is threatened by him because he doesn’t make them feel bad. One day he was talking to someone backstage about Jesus. One of the other male dancers—an obvious homosexual—approached my son. He said, “I used to know God the way you are talking about when I was young, but somehow I got away from it. Could you tell me more about what you and ---- were talking about?”
Does Jesus still want to set captives free and bring God’s Kingdom to them?
If we can only believe that Jesus resides within each of us, we might also believe that we are able to take Him places He would go if He were here, today, in His own body.
Top Resources for Nurturing Children's Differences
 Yes, you can still get a copy of the Elijah Company catalog. The Elijah Company closed in 2005, but you can still get a copy of its last Resource Guide.
Elijah Company’s catalog has always been one of the most respected—and requested—resources available to home schoolers. People say, “Everyone has got to have the Elijah Company catalog, especially new home schoolers!” and they keep their dog-eared, well-read copies of the catalogs for years. The Resource Guide is jam packed with articles and practical information about how to be successful teaching your children at home.
 Developed by the authors of Discover Your Child's Learning Style, this is the most powerful and user friendly learning styles inventory in the world and it is NOW ONLINE! A Self-Portrait™ Profile assesses several aspects of learning style, quickly and simply, in language that is easily understood by everyone. These aspects are: Disposition, Modality, Environment, Interests, and Talents. If you want help in understanding what makes your child "tick" and how your can help him or her learn easier and better (or find out more about yourself), take this easy, quick learning styles assessment test. For more about this learning styles assessment test, CLICK HERE>>
 Discover Your Child's Learning Style is a book you need. Period. It has more potential to improve your child's education - and your family relationships - than almost any other book I have ever read. The authors of this book have developed a "Learning Styles Model" of education that helps you discern your child's:
• Talents
• Interests
• Preferred learning environment
• Thinking Style
• Modalities
The book includes handy self-tests. Use these to find out just how each child in your family loves to learn... and what teaching approaches help or hinder his learning style. What a huge difference this will make in your homeschool... and in your family relationships!
Discover Your Children's Gifts will help you uncover your children's natural giftings and personality traits. It helps explain why their personality "quirks" are really evidences of their own God-given gifts. The theological foundation is very sound, making good sense of the main passages on spiritual gifts in a way very few others do. Gifts are broken into 1) Manifestation (sign gifts - 1 Cor 12-14; Acts 2) 2) Ministry (equipping gifts - Eph 4) & 3) Motivational (every-Christian-gifts - Rom 12).
 Dreamers, Discoverers and Dynamos. Every now and then a book comes along that fills in so many gaps in my understanding that I want to tell everyone about it. Dr. Pallodino suggests that one in five children is an "Edison Trait child," meaning he or she has one or more of the following: dazzling intelligence, an active imagination, a free-spirited approach to life, and the ability to frustrate the you-know-what out of others. The heart of the issue is that these children think divergently, while schools generally reward convergent thinking. This book discusses the different types of approaches to life your children may have (dreamer, discover, or dynamo) and how you can most help each type succeed.
 100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum by Cathy Duffy. I've always recommended Cathy's curriculum guides as the best out there for choosing teaching materials that "mesh" with who your family is. Now Cathy guides you through the process, offering her "Top Picks" from each subject area.
A major feature of 100 Top Picks is the charts showing the 100 Top Picks in relation to educational approaches, learning styles, and practical features such as prep time needed; design for independent, one-on-one, or group learning; and ease of use for the teacher. Complete reviews of each of the Top Picks provide parents the information they need to make the best choices for each of their children.
The first half of 100 Top Picks covers information that will help you decide your child's learning styles, help you decide what your "Philosophy of Education" is, and help you figure what to teach when. The second half has reviews for all 100 of the top picks. You will gain a lot of insight into what curriculum is available by reading these reviews. She even tosses some extra "Picks" here and there that would've made the list if her book's title was "200 Top Picks".
Resources for rethinking education
 Books by John Gatto. These books will change the way you think about education. Gatto was a public school teacher for decades and New York's Teacher of the Year, so he has first-hand experience with the effects of public schooling. Not only do his books discuss the major issues about what schooling does to our children, he offers insights into what a true education entails and reflects on our society as a whole and the distorted thinking that leads us to subject our children to an influence that robs them of their creativity and enthusiasm for learning. Gatto's books are "MUST READS."
Dumbing Us Down
A Different Kind of Teacher
Books by John Holt. Holt's books are wonderfully thought-provoking and give you a real appreciation for the natural learning ability of your children. Read all of these! How Children Learn, Learning All the Time, and Teach Your Own .
Also highly recommended: Guerrilla Learning: How to Give Your Kids a Real Education With or Without School
  Endangered Minds by Jane Healy. Subtitled “Why Children Don't Think and What We Can Do About It,” this is truly a
significant book. The book's premise is that today's children, bombarded by a fast-paced
media culture and with very little interaction with thinking adults, develop different “habits of mind” than children of the past and are therefore unable to tackle the skills involved in learning. Healy clearly explains why our modern lifestyles sabotage
the ability to learn and tells us what to do about it. In the companion book, Your Child's Growing Mind Healy discusses how thinking and learning abilities develop for skills like reading, writing, spelling, proper use of grammar, etc. and what parents can do to create the “mind pathways” that enhance these thinking and learning abilities. These books are "must haves."
Resources for choosing teaching materials
 Mary Pride's Complete Guide to Getting Started in Homeschooling. The title can be deceiving, because the book isn't just for those getting started, it's also very helpful to veteran home schoolers who want to re-evaluate what they are doing and the resources that are available to them.
Veteran home educators will dive into a vast amounts of up-to-date information with sections on Field Trips, Conferences, Retreats & Homeschool Days for the Whole Family, and Worldview & Leadership Training for Teens. There's also information on how to find everything from contests, to how to write a winning college application essay.
If there were one "top expert" in homeschooling, I would say Mary Pride is it. With her numerous books, Practical Homeschooling Magazine, and website, Mary knows her stuff.
 Home Learning Year by Year: How to Design a Homeschool Curriculum from Preschool Through High School by Rebecca Rupp. This book does not come from a Christian orientation, but is one of the few books I know that gives you a checklist of what the traditional pre-K through 12th-grade curriculum expects a child to learn year by year and then tells you how to accomplish the same level of learning at home. Home Learning Year by Year also gives guidelines for the importance of each topic, pointing out which knowledge is essential and which is best for more expansive study based on your child's personal interests.
 Life Skills for Kids by Christine Field is a
guide to equipping your children with the life
skills they will need as adults: people/home
life skills, time/space organization skills,
money management skills, healthy lifestyle
skills, spiritual habits, decision making skills,
creative skills, and celebration skills.
Christine is a home schooling mother herself,
and the book is written in such a way that it
may be used as a reference point and checklist of desired skills
and knowledge to be mastered.
   Homeschooling the Early Years
Homeschooling the Middle Years
Homeschooling the Teen Years
Each of these books is a guide to successfully
homeschooling the age group it covers. Starting with
what makes the age group tick, chapters cover the
important aspects of learning, practical ways to approach
each subject area, and the many paths to success.
  What Your Kindergartner Needs to Know
What Your First Grader Needs to Know
What Your Second Grader Needs to Know
What Your Third Grader Needs to Know
What Your Fourth Grader Needs to Know
What Your Fifth Grader Needs to Know
What Your Sixth Grader Needs to Know
This series of books covers what a child at each grade level should be learning in every subject. The books are great to have around to help you design your own curriculum and make sure you aren't leaving any "gaps." History, language arts, science, and several other subjects are covered in enough detail that the book could become your primary textbook for those subjects, but math is summarized, so further teaching materials may be needed there. As you develop your own "Home School Reference Center" of books you can refer to over and over, these need to have their own place there.
More coming in the next issue . Stay tuned....
View past ejournals HERE>>
P.S. Here are the webpages I've finished. Each page listed will take you to more pages on that topic.
Webpages about choosing teaching materials
Webpages about the importance of reading great books and booklists for children of all ages
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